Yesterday, I received even greater revelations due to God's grace and growing wonder about the New Covenant.
Yesterday morning, I woke up, and I started getting angry, bitter about the negative experiences that I have endured on social media. I got angry about how I was treated in a very contentious debate. Then I read an article, in which I got immediately upset and insisted on fighting back, arguing with that person or the people who supported that person all over again.
For the longest time, I had gone through this roller-coaster of self-argument. I want to go back and have that argument all over again.
Instead of getting into the argument cyclone again, I started asking God questions: "Lord, why do I get wound about this issue? Why do I feel compelled to make these arguments again and again?"
The next minute, I went for a long walk in my neighborhood. It was great. I heard His answer clear as day: "You keep thinking that you have to correct the record, to settle the score, to prove people wrong for believing something that is not true. I am more than able to vindicate you."
In fact, before I went out for a walk, as I was putting on my shoes, I started to realize what I was really trying to do: correct the record, prove to people that I was not wrong, stupid, ignorant, etc; i.e. I was concerned about what people would think of me.
But really, who does, who should care what people think of me? I certainly should not care.
Then I realized another wonderful aspect of the New Covenant:
"I will be a God to you" also means that He is committed to vindicating my cause. YES! Amen!
"Judge me, O LORD; for I have walked in mine integrity: I have trusted also in the LORD; therefore I shall not slide." (Psalm 26:1)
"7And shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though he bear long with them? 8I tell you that he will avenge them speedily." (Luke 18:7-8)
Then a larger revelation ensued for me. For the longest time, I have felt compelled to argue and think out loud on so many issues, and it would just waste so much time for me. I could not relent from wanting to engage in vain disputes with myself, in my home, or even when I went out walking.
Yesterday, I finally received the wisdom I had long sought on this matter. It was wonderful!
Then, last night, as I was lying down for the greater part of the evening, an intense revelation overcame me. I can ignore every invitation to argue and stir up strife because He is a God to me! And God is not going to go away or break off fellowship with me just because I lose my temper, have a bad thought, or engage in a negative feeling. Wow!
For the last few days, I have found myself thinking out loud less and less. I get into fewer mental tangents. There is less and less need to argue about matters that, well, do not matter. There is no longer this compulsion to keep pushing for my arguments, my responses to win the day. This sense of calm is really incredible.
For the longest time, I treated all the noise and nattering as something that mattered, something that I had to respond to. Now, I realize that all of that is hollow and empty. I do not have to be swept aside or going with the critical tide of thinking and feeling that overwhelms my emotions every other day.
This is just wonderful!
I have never felt so care for, so protected. This New Covenant is so wonderful, and God's promises for me, to me, and through me are not affected by the thoughts, feelings, or actions that are going for me, in me, through me, or to me. Amen!
It all makes sense now.
This is truly amazing. I have never felt so free, so at peace. I have never felt so cared for, so protected. There is no longer any doubt in my mind that God is on my side, regardless of what any demon, deacon, or dictator might do to me.
He is a God to me, and I am one of His people, because He is propitious to my unrighteousness, and my sins and iniquities He members no more!