There are things that we do have in common. For one, we are both homo sapiens sapiens. We both live in the same Congressional district, the newly drawn (or gerrymandered!) 33rd, which takes in my South Bay and his Santa Monica home all the way to Malibu and Agoura Hills. There is something else that we agree on: Seinfeld is one funny show. I still watch the reruns just before I go to sleep at night.
Currently, all we see in the news is a lot of Beltway bitterness and backbiting. Every time one politician tries to make peace, the other sides growls: “You can stuff your “sorrys” in a sack, mister!” And we all know what that means! Henry Waxman wasn’t my “pick” for Congress, but that does not make me an animal, does it? Maybe if I had sent him a second “Thank you”,he would not be so mad at me. Or perhaps he thinks that I am one of “The Devils! The Devils!” Perhaps if he and his spend-thrift colleagues went into a coma, --- like Elaine’s visiting Colombian priest after he wasscared by a devilishly painted Puddy after a hockey game -- then politicians would spend less time fighting and more time leaving us alone.
Of course, I am not the first one to suggest that Washington politicians, especially the Republicans, need to have more fun. In a recent op-ed, former Reagan speech writer Peggy Noonan told her conservative colleagues : “It’s Pirate time.” Up until recently, the GOP Establishment has been whining:“But I don’t wanna be a pirate!”, just like Jerry Seinfeld, when Kramer’s low-talking girlfriend showcased her “puffy shirt” for him to wear on a morning talk show for all to see. (By the way, the GOP has a “stuffy shirt” problem: old white men with money, but what about a "Festivus for the rest of us"?)
Republicans want to cut spending. Why not call it “shrinkage”?Democrats want to grow government. Why not call them the “Bubble Boy Party"? Besides, everyone wants to make sure that someone is there to change grandpa’s diaper before he dies. Voters want the government to be there to care for “Nanna” and your“Uncle Leo”, too. (Jerry, Hello!)
If you think about it long enough, it starts to make sense. “We the People” are the “master of our domains”, and just because a Democrat or a Republican wins a local contest to represent us in Congress, that does not mean that they can put their hands anywhere they want to. They need to make the whole muffin of legislating work before they can start cutting the tops off of government waste, if you know what I mean.