Saturday, November 8, 2014

Kenny Rogers Reality Show in the South Bay

"This is gonna be the best reality show ever!"

As I have written before, my favorite skit on MadTV is "Kenny Rogers Reality Show."

Every time I  watch it, I crack up. It's just too funny, pure and simple. I even compared one of the characters on the "show" to one my city's Congressional representatives.

Now, reviewing the 2014 electoral results in the South Bay, lo and behold we have a politically equivalent cohort of the contestants from the skit.

The Snotty Go-Getter

Santa Monica School Board member Ben Allen won the state senate district. I had compared him to the high school nerd or valedictorian in one debate. He has a massive record of accomplishment as well as endorsements (compared to his former challenger Sandra Fluke). He even talked about his role as student representative for the UC System.

Just like the Snotty Go-Getter in the show, Allen will more likely get along to go along rather than stand up to the corruption in Sacramento. The voters in the Santa Monica Bay district needed a choice. What we got was anything but.

Hopefully, no one will hit Allen on the head with a bottle, but the rest of sure got hit hard.

The Chinese Guy

Ted Lieu won the Congressional seat to replace Henry Waxman. The statistics were skewed too much in his favor. I liked Elan Carr,  endorsed him at the outset, and he did have a strong chance of winning. Yet for all the money from rich donors, Sheldon Adelson or rich Beverly Hills socialites, the West Side has turned into a Left Side paradise, and no amount of the right money can change that.

"Save some for me!"
From left to right: the Chinese guy, the crazy Black Lady, the Snotty Go-Getter, Kenny Rogers, and the Just-A-Guy Guy

Republicans need to inquire: how did the West Los Angeles, once the bastion of conservatives and Republicans, become a left-wing asylum? Ted Lieu pretended to be conservative when he sat on the Torrance City Council. Once he went Sacramento, he veered left, and never looked back. At least in Congress he will have no real influence. At least in Congress, he will have to ask "What do we do now?" Perhaps an extreme make-over of Washington dysfunction will have Lieu seeking retirement sooner than Henry Waxman.

The Just-a-Guy Guy

In a welcome upset in the South Bay, Republican David Hadley took back the state assembly seat, despite the Democratic trend which had dominated the region for twenty years. Not the likely person one would expect to win any elected office, David Hadley did not inspire immediate confidence in local activists (such as me, I guess). I had hoped for Gardena Mayor Paul Tanaka or Hermosa Beach Mayor Kit Bobko to run for the seat.

I'm glad neither one of them did. David Hadley was "just a guy" to most voters, with no controversial political record, he put Muratsuchi on the defense. The petty financial mistakes from Hadley's investment firm confirmed one thing: he understood business and economics, while Democrats do not. Democratic incumbent Al Muratsuchi tried to paint him as a Wall Street Gordon Gekko thug. It was laughable.

And no one bought it. Voters said "You're Fired!" to Muratsuchi, and they gave him no immunity, so he cannot stay.

The Crazy Black Lady

And my favorite. Maxine Waters says the craziest things, including foolish attacks like "The Tea Party can go straight to hell."

Honestly, Republican John Wood did not have much of a chance. Waters did not have to campaign or debate her opponent, since the district leans so heavily Democratic, more than Ben Allen's state senate district and Ted Lieu's Congressional seat.

What can a Republican do to win back South Los Angeles? A cultural shift is necessary, to say the least, starting with school choice, mixed in with business investments and job training to get people off the dole and on a roll. Future contenders need to play the game a little better. Get a city council seat, work with neighborhood leaders, show them that the values of the party work in the better interests of all colors. Maybe someone could find her a bachelor to marry, and she can retire to her Hancock Park mansion to live off of her Big Government pension.

In the mean time, Waters' fiery rhetoric has cooled down, and some people may find my characterization of her offensive. That's too bad, because I want to put some sass into this political discussion, and I am not afraid of anybody!

So, the reality show of South Bay Politics may be the best reality show ever. But we need to fire some of these contestants (Lieu, Waters, Allen) before it's too late!

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