"How Could You Not Know?!"

No Nonsense

One of the most intense and gratifying moments  for me on television took place when Dr. Phil had sequestered a group of adults who were struggling in life. At the time, he was still the guest psychologist on "Oprah".

These people had struggled with issues that they could not put their fingers on. They struggled in their lives, overcome by emotional turmoil which would not leave them.

I remember one of the clients. An older man who had been molested by a priest. Another younger man was overcome with shame and fear, haunted by an abusive, school-boy past.
Another young lady was overcome about a family problem. For her, Dr. Phil's emotional boot-camp was do or die.

Dr. Phil's insights on the show were the only reason I would watch "Oprah". She had learned some interesting things from this man when she was facing a massive trial from the Texas beef industry. Pacing frantic over the mess and the fallout that would hurt her future, Oprah was weeping at 3am in a borrowed home in Dallas, Texas, where the immense civil suit was taking place. She kept crying about the terrible circumstances that she was facing. Dr. Phil gave her a heavy dose of reality: "This is really happening, Oprah. Stop denying it, and get into it!" This was the full gist of his approach to helping clients. Not "therapist", but rather "life strategist", that's how Dr. Phil styled himself.

Dr.Phil had the knack of pressing through the b-s that she was stimming around in.

So, a group of about twelve adults were called away to a retreat to figure out the ups and downs that were keeping them in bondage. They took out all their emotions, went on about the hardships that they had faced in this life.

The first day, they had all showed up to a group session, yet  none of them had completed their first assignment. Phil was furious because only one or two of the twelve people seemed committed to getting anything done. I had never seen anyone get so angry with a group of people. That kind of outrage was refreshing.

There was one specific moment, however, that has not left my mind. A powerful moment that taught me how important it is to get to the truth, no matter how painful it may be.

Another client in the group was an older woman, a lady who was so overcome with rage and anger following the startling revelation that her husband had been abusing her children. She was distraught, could not get passed the upset that was so bound up within her.

True to his persona, Phil cut right through the crap. "Why are you still so bound up about this? Wait a minute! I know what happened. You knew that he was abusing your kids! How can a woman live in the same house as her husband and children and "not know" that the husband is abusing her own kids?! You knew that he was abusing them, and you did not do anything about it!"

The woman started to cry. She just broke down. Phil would not take anything less than the truth unadulterated.

The scene where he confronted the woman was played back for Oprah's audience. And Phil explained:

"I had to get right to the truth. If we just skimmed over the issue, she would have gone back home, and the guilt would have been strangling her again in two weeks."

Truth is not open for debate when it comes to breaking free from any bondage in our lives. Dr. Phil's "politically incorrect" confrontation declared to a sleepy world that has gone complacent with the wrong that we do not grow if we refuse to face the truth!