Forgiveness -- How Could I Let You Do That To Me?!"

Dr. Laura Schlesinger wrote a book entitled:

"How could I let you do that to me?!"

This more than anything else seems to be the sticking point for people who have been hurt, abused, or victimized. A sense of  "I should have" or "How could I have not known?" will stick in a man's soul, even though he was hurt by someone else.

I used to live my life like that, making sure that no one ever messed with me, and taking pride in smacking people down. Often I would recount the times that  I stood up to others. For a long time, I was convinced that I was merely reminiscing over my victories, the same way that David brought the head of Goliath back to Jerusalem.

Yet the battle then and now has never been about we must do, but rather what God has done for us!

Before David picked up the slingshot and sent the stone flying to bring down the Champion of Gath, David outlined to Saul everything that the LORD had done for him. It was the Lord who delivered David from the mouth of the lion and the bear. He did not take credit for anything in his life.

"David said moreover, The LORD that delivered me out of the paw of the lion, and out of the paw of the bear, he will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine. And Saul said unto David, Go, and the LORD be with thee." (1 Samuel 17: 37)

When he faced Goliath, he told the giant that the Lord delivered him into the hands of the shepherd boy. Too many people take that account as an example of self-confidence and courage, when in fact we are called to die to ourselves, and let Him live through us. Part of the reason why God used little David and a slingshot was so that future generations, including us, would not presume for one moment to think that we do anything in ourselves.

Even at the end of the battle, David did take Goliath's head:

"54And David took the head of the Philistine, and brought it to Jerusalem; but he put his armour in his tent." (1 Samuel17: 54)

David put his own armor away -- he did not parade his own prowess, but gave God the glory in all things.

Just like David, we are accepted in the Beloved (Ephesians 1:6), as "David" means "Beloved" and when we face every challenge in the Name of the Lord, who has made as Himself, then we have victory by His strength, not by our own!

Unless we allow the grace of God to make us who we are in Christ (1 Corinthians 15: 10), we will find ourselves still trying to defeat a defeated enemy, trying to occupy land which He has already so freely given us.

Something within us will eat away at us when we feel that we failed to stand up for ourselves, as if we have to stand up for ourselves in the first place. Because of previous affronts that we did nothing about, we end up esteeming ourselves even less, or worse we live a life of getting back at the world, making sure that no one ever messes with us again. This sense of hypervigilance, ironically enough, makes us more prone to getting our feelings hurt, more likely to avoid the company of others, causes us to focus more on ourselves and our efforts instead of trusting in Him who has all things prepared for us from the outset. We are consumed with ourselves instead of resting in Himself, who is our life (Colossians 3: 4).

As I grow in grace as well as knowledge of the Lord (2 Peter 3: 18), that this "retaliatory spirit" within us is in fact a temptation from Satan, goaded on by the law, the Enemy's main weapon against us:

"And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath he quickened together with him, having forgiven you all trespasses;

"Blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to his cross;

"And having spoiled principalities and powers, he made a shew of them openly, triumphing over them in it."(Colossians 2: 13-15)

Let us never forget that Satan is still the Accuser of the Brethren (Zechariah 3), and He has not stopped attacking, even though he has been judged, he has already lost in this world (John 16: 11)

But we have an Advocate with the Father (1 John 2: 2), the Holy Spirit, who convicts us of righteousness (John 16: 8-11). We have been made the righteousness of God in Christ (2 Corinthians 5: 21), and in Him we have the full standing of justified, for as Jesus is -- seated at the right hand of the Father, in full glory and honor --  so are we in this world (1 John 4: 17). No matter what attacks we face in this world, we bring every thought in captivity to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10: 5). We tend to think of Christ's obedience as static, yet He ministers on our behalf even now, justifying us before God the Father (Romans 8: 33), offering to us the gift of righteousness and grace (Romans 5: 17), and His blood is still cleansing us, still making us righteous (1 John 1:7)

So, grace, unmerited favor, is what it's all about! When we rely less on ourselves, no longer identifying with ourselves, we find that this faith in our righteousness quenches every dart of the Enemy (Ephesians 6: 16), and in fact every attack brings us more grace!

First of all, no longer do we look at ourselves for anything, for God's grace defines us and drives us:

"But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me." (1 Corinthians 15: 10)

The more that we rest in His righteousness and receive His grace, the more that His grace works in our lives, and we can prosper in the face of the worst onslaughts of the Enemy:

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

"Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." (2 Corinthians 12: 9-10)

So, God's grace defines us, drives, and defends us, too!

Instead of "How could I let you do that to me?" Let's us reflect once again on Him and all that He has done for us:

"Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world." (1 John 4: 17)

and then

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love." (1 John 4: 18)

He has taken care of everything through His love -- get a greater grasp of His goodness -- all Him, none of yourself -- and the attacks of your enemies will be bread for you instead!

Do not look at yourself or the challenges in your life -- for as He is, in perfect victory seated at the right hand of the Father, so are you in this world!