Joseph and the Solution to Bullying

For the first time in a long time, I was drawn to read the over feature of the Jewish Journal. Normally, the topics on the cover seem out of place or incidental, like the closing down of neighborhood bookstores. But the topic of bullying got my attention very quickly.

I dealt with unpleasant kids -- and adults -- when I was growing up. It's not easy, sometimes. As I grew wise, I had more victories and fewer defeats when it came to standing up to people, asserting who I was without being aggressive or meandering.

Contrary to the assertion of the cover feature, I do not think that people in this country need to see one more documentary or read one more personal account from bullied individuals. People need to stop looking at what they perceive themselves as lacking. They need to start figuring out who they are, what they have, and therefore what they can do, irrespective of what other people say about them. When people learn to be comfortable in their own skin, receiving favor from the right source, then they can overcome anything.

One of the reasons why I look forward to reading the Jewish Journal is that writers incorporate power examples from the Bible. I cannot think of a better figure in ancient history from whom we can learn about overcoming bullying in this world than Joseph, the beloved son of Jacob.

The child of Jacob's old age, Joseph was the first born from Jacob's favorite wife, Rachel. Apart from the doting he received from his aged father (including a coat of many colors), Joseph dreamed great dreams. Here is the first step for anyone facing trials in the world. To know that you have greatness within you, that you are destined for great things, this will help you to overcome the challenging people whom you face in life!

From early on, Joseph was harassed by his elder brothers, who could not even speak “peace” to him. Yet he persevered to do well before all. Out of rigid jealousy, the brothercast Joseph into a pit, then sold him into slavery. Imagine this poor kid, the apple of his father's eye, the cherished child of Jacob-Israel, sold into slavery to the Midianites, the blood-related enemies of Israel, the ancestors of the Palestinians.
Fast forward to a slave market in Egypt, where this lonely boy, far from the loving favor of his father, perhaps fighting against the resentments surging within himself toward his own brothers. Stripped down to nothing with no prospects, it would seem that Joseph had no hopes, only those dreams nagging at him rather than building him up. Yet the Bible records a glorious response, an attitude of glory and goodness, one which dispels the evil tribulations which had befallen Joseph:

"And the LORD was with Joseph, and he was a prosperous man; and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian." (Genesis 39: 2)

When a man knows that God is with him, that no matter what he may do, no matter how bad things may seem, when He knows that the Lord looks upon him with favor, nothing can stop a man from being successful in this life!

For kids who struggle with bullying -- and by this I mean verbal taunting, or even physical violence, -- when you know who you are, when you know Who is with you, then you have nothing to fear. No matter what people say or think of you, when you know that Someone loves you unconditionally, then who cares what other people think? When we break free of depending on other people’s opinions of us, then we can be free to be who we are. The dogs can keep on barking, but the sun never stops shining, right? And so it was with Joseph, who prospered in everything that he did.

He would endure two more betrayals in his life. In his Egyptian master Potiphar's home, a desperate wife falsely implicated Joseph for attempting to rape her. In prison, where he rose to great prominence, even supervising the jail, Joseph interpreted the dreams of a baker, who was executed. Then the butler, who was restored, forgot about Joseph. During all of these trials, Joseph was never bitter -- because the Lord was with him! He never let someone else define his destiny, because the Lord was with him, and he trusted Him to take care of Him!

Finally, when the favored son of Jacob was called upon to interpret the dreams of Pharaoh, within one hour Joseph went from the prison-house to the penthouse. He later married a Gentile Bride and had two beautiful children:

"And unto Joseph were born two sons before the years of famine came, which Asenath the daughter of Potipherah priest of On bare unto him.

"And Joseph called the name of the firstborn Manasseh: For God, said he, hath made me forget all my toil, and all my father's house.

"And the name of the second called he Ephraim: For God hath caused me to be fruitful in the land of my affliction." (Genesis 41: 50- 52)

When we look at the blessings we have, which no one can take away, then we see ourselves prosper even in the midst of the most bitter of afflictions! Joseph was grounded in his blessedness, thanking the Spirit of God who was upon him to interpret dreams and minister to others (Genesis 41: 16, 38).

Identity is the most important thing for a person who faces trials, who gets bullied. But when you know who you are, when you do not let circumstances, stupidity, or unsightly people divert you from your destined greatness, then nothing can stop you, and no one can mess with you to convince you otherwise. If someone says something stupid, then you can brush it off easily. When you know the Source of your own worth, then you can seek help if someone is attacking you.

Contrary to the assertions of clinicians and psychologists, we need to help young people learn who they are, and they cannot find these answers pertaining to identity, security, and meaning in other people. These are spiritual needs that only God can answer. This line of truth may offend many who have disdained God altogether, but I am not so persuaded. If the Lord was with Joseph, a young man who could overcome so much hardship, including the bullying from his own brothers, then we can all learn the secrets of resting in the secure and unconditional love of God! When we know that He is pleased with us, then we have no reason to respect the disrespect of others! And when we declare through our everyday lives the standing that we have, people who would seek to harass us find very little entertainment in trying to provoke someone who is grounded.