The Worst Teacher in America

Jaime Escalante, the idealized protagonist in the famous teacher-movie “Stand and Deliver” was my hero. I wanted to be just like him: funny, crazy, demanding, not afraid to push a kid to the wall if he acted up.

He was driven to teach; so was I. After seven years of seeing public education from diverse angles, I am convinced that schools are not meant for good teachers, but rather quiet teachers who will be good to their employers and play nice with students who need anything but.

In an autistic class, I threw one student out after his repeated tantrums, which minimized his impact and extinguished the behavior – and all against school policy. When another staff member call a student a “Nigger”, I told him to leave, which prompted false reports against me followed by a forced dismissal.

I student-taught twice. I failed miserably the first time because I was trying to be “Teacher” on my own. The poor mentoring and lack of direction from my advisor did not help.

In South Los Angeles, I taught French to functionally illiterate English Language Learners. In an effort to maintain discipline, I transformed into the “Psycho French Teacher”, refusing to tolerate disrespect or administrative neglect. The principal remembered me, though not fondly, as he shouted me down for inciting “a line of parents” at his door. I quit that job, convinced that a school which supported me was still out there.

I taught in wealthier communities, hoping for more respect and higher student morale.  Instead, I met the political power of parents intimidating administrators, who undermine teachers. After one month, I quit altogether, harassed and burned out from vacuous, entitled students, uncouth colleagues, and a too-long commute.

Substitute teaching was easier: no papers to grade, no parent conferences, no test scores. I would discipline students without having to face them the next day. Sometimes I earned a stipend for covering extra classes, sometimes I got written up for allegedly intimidating students (certainly) or humiliating staff (as if!). I have covered classrooms all over the county, and the common denominator is boredom, waste, stupidity, disrespect, or downright cluelessness. Not just for me, but for the students who suffer through curriculum designed to boost test scores, not the students’ potential.

I even found my way into a local charter school, with state-of-the-art facilities, frequent field trips, and all the resources I needed. The pressure was on, though, to get the kids’ grades up, and with a school shifting in the chaos of mixed missions, unclear visions, and my growing discontent with the calling of educator, I quit that job, traumatized by shifting bell-schedules, incompetent counselors, and inattentive leadership.

Back to subbing, I really struggled with whether I was really cut out for this profession. I had the credential, the support from many students, parents, colleagues, but I had not prospered on the inside, at least to decide.

Long-term substitute teaching in another district confirmed my worst fears about the sorry state of public education today. From Students’ taunting and cursing to inept leadership, race-baiting parents and unclear goals, I was in over my head, but I kept trying, despite the common refrain of “Did you get fired yet?”

Jaime Escalante was once lauded as “The Best Teacher in America”. Perhaps I qualify as one of the worst, a casualty of trying to be good in a system of mediocrity, failure, and a cringing lack of oversight.  Teaching is a matter of the heart, not the head, a profession for the man who knows what he wants, not still wanting to know who he is.