"We Don't Respect You"

Hawthorne was terrible. At least, my experience there was.

Lawndale was bound to be better. And in many ways, it was.

"Mr. Schaper, we know that you're a good teacher, but we don't respect you."

This coming from one senior. How clairvoyant he must have been, being able to read the minds of many, if not all the seniors in the class. In fact, a number of students had shared with my privately that they thought I was doing a great job, and hoped that I would stay the rest of the year.

So, nuts to that. But his reason for "not respecting me", that was really rich!

"You do not let us sit wherever we want to. You do not treat us like adults."

In many high schools, the students, especially the seniors, complain that no one treats them like adults.

Their plaint is somewhat justified. Housing kids against their will for "their own good" is demeaning and childish.

On the other hand, a lot of young adults want the privileges of adulthood, but not the commensurate responsibilities.

Yet if people want to be free, able to chart a course for their lives free from interference, then they must be willing to adopt the challenges and the fallout which accompany their choices.

Besides, the fact that this kid told me I was a good teacher unmasked the greater problem. They did not "respect" me because I did not let the kid do whatever he wanted to; yet nothing conveys greater indifference and disrespect than an adult who lets young adults act like children in the first place.

I realized then and there, respect was something that I could never earn from some people, no matter how hard I tried to please them. Then it occurred to me further than that: respect was something that I did not have to earn from anybody! I can be a good teacher without the props, without begging and pleading, and in the event students do not want to cooperate, then let the chips fall where they may.

"We don't respect you" the student had said to me. But I did not care. I had enough self-respect to know that respect must come from within.