Where Do You Stay, Markey? (Medford, Malden, or Maryland?)

With the 2013 US Senate primaries ended in Massachusetts, the residents of the Bay State have their choices to replace out-going (hardly outgoing( US Senator John Kerry: Gabriel Gomez of Cohasset, or Congressman Edward Markey of Medford, or is it Malden, or is it Maryland (Chevy Chase, to be precise, and this is no National Lampoon, either). Frankly, the first question Massachusetts residents aks has to do with his primary residence. In other words: "Where does Markey make his mark?" On the street, they would say: "Where do you stay, Markey?"

Supposedly, he resides in Medford. How have things been in the part of the Commonwealth since Markey came to power in 1976? The Somerville's Irish Winter Hill Gang, part of the massive Irish Mob, took down one of their rivals in Medford. In 1980, a couple of crooked cops made off with one of the biggest jewel heists in history from the Depositors Trust bank. With such a legacy of crime, Medford voters should give James "Whitey Bulger" a shot at the Senate Seat. He's a crook, but at least an honest one (honest about being a gangster, that is). Amelia Earhart, who got lost lying over the Atlantic some eighty years ago, used to live in Medford, too. (Another thing that Amelia and Markey have in common: no once can find them!)

And then there's Malden. "Yeah, Congressman Ed Markey. He's from Malden!" any passerby might quip. Yet very few residents in the city have ever (evah!) seen him. In 2010, as the Republican Party faced a rising opportunity of taking back Congress (they won the House of representatives, plus six senate seats), Republican challenger Dr. Gerry Dembrowski searched for Markey up and down Townsend Street (The long-time Congressman supposedly leaves at #7), yet still no has ever seen him. During Mr. Dembrowski's 2010 venture to find the missing Congressman, one resident candidly remarked that "Markey does not live here anymore." Yikes! Another resident, down the street, had no idea that he (supposedly) lived down the street. A third person shared that she had not seen him in years. After thirty-six years, one would think that people would know about Edward "Why the Long Face" Markey. One would assume that a representative would not be ashamed to "represent his peeps". Undocumented immigrants is one thing, but an undocumented Congressman, well, that's just wicked! (but not in a good way. . .)

Then there's Chevy Chase, Maryland. It looks like we have a winner.

Markey has been a Washington insider since before he was an outsider. Some say he was busy doing backroom deals even while scooping chocolate and vanilla as an ice cream truck driver in Malden (or Medford). From the beginning, Markey has been dishing out dessert to liberal denizens, yet at least the ice cream gig was legit, and people always knew where to find him and when he was coming (the ice cream man never stops ringing, unlike the mailman.)

Markey's record is boilerplate (ore frozen in place) liberal-progressive (Vanilla, yet plainer, and forget about the waffle cone). He has voted time and again to raise the debt ceiling with abandon. He voted against curbing Washington lobbyists. He has voted against every tax cut one can think of (marriage penalty, anyone?) Death and taxes are two certain things, and with Markey every voter could expect to be taxed for dying, too. People pay more for their cable. Anything sweet for the Congressman has soured on his constituents, and still no one is the wiser as to his whereabouts

Then there's Waxman-Markey Cap and Trade. For the record, Markey pushed crappy "Cap and Trade" with his fellow climate-change comrade Henry Waxman (D-California), a bill larded with pork-pollution. The original bill, all nine hundred and some pages of it, was just not enough, so Waxman pushed a three-hundred page amendment into the Hopper at the last minute. For all that Massachusetts voters may dislike about Republicans and their Speaker John Boehner, as minority leader he took a majority leap to expose the bureaucracies and high costs.

For the record, Cap and Trade is a mean, green Ponzi Scheme which "History of Stuff" Environmental activist Annie Leonard debunked, along with many level-headed scientists, plus a score of conservatives. Europe's carbon credits experiment with Cap and Trade failed around, while pollution increased, along with fuel costs. Only trade gets capped with "Cap and Trade", enough that US Senator Joe Manchin (D-West Virginia) pledged to shoot a bullet (or rather "bust a cap") through the Cap and Trade Bill. How-evah, Markey still pleads that the "Climate Change" cliff is far worse than the "Fiscal Cliff" . Then again, 30,000 and scientists, including a thousand PhDs (not all from the University of Chicago or Stanford University) have disputed that "climate change" is a catastrophic threat which must be averted, or life as we know it will end.

So, "Where do you stay, Markey?" Maryland is his real home. Yet if voters have their future mapped out for the better, they will make sure Mareky stays in Malden (or Medford) for good.