Teaching is all give, and not a lot of get, at least in proportion to the amount of time, energy, and effort that the teacher puts into the profession. That is the way it should be, I guess. Then the question that arises: what moves and motivates the teacher to give? Who fills the teacher's cup so that he can impart something to a student?
This has been the defining question for me, as I am sure for many other teachers.
Well, perhaps this insight may seem cynical or draining. But if teaching is about inspiring, not merely educating. I had a chance to reflect on this when I remembered something that an important teacher told me a long time ago, just before I graduated from high school.
At the end of my senior year, I was walking around Nadine Circle in Torrance. There, I ran into Ms. Wagner, one of the substitute teachers who used to work at Torrance High School. She was one of my favorite substitute teachers. A kind older woman who knew how to manage a class without a lot of effort, Ms. Wagner commanded a lot of respect from most students because she was such a kind, grandmotherly type. She had proctored my AP French exams and also witnessed while I was teaching my French class for the dreaded final senior project.
As soon as I met her, I started talking about school, what college I was going to in the fall of that year. I also told her that I was thinking of becoming a teacher. Right away, she cautioned me that I had to be prepared to give a lot, and not expect much back in return.
She knew a lot about education. Having served as a home economics teacher for forty-plus years, she witnessed her subject slowly disappear until the wide rooms in the Home Ec building turned into English History classes. Until then, I had never understood why there were stoves and sinks in some of the classrooms at Torrance High.
Recently, I revisited this memory. I have struggled for so long to make an impact in the lives of others. For so long, I was more preoccupied with doing the right thing, making sure that no one student got away with disrespect. I was heady about state standards. Always I tried to give the veneer that I was very much in charge, like that arrogant clerk in "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas." I realized that I was unprepared to give everything, in part because I did not realize all that I had within me in the first place. Trying to play by the rules of the school, the district, and the state, I lost touch with the spirit that animates the classroom and the student: the desire to learn something new, but more importantly something true and relevant.
Most teachers enter the classroom armed with classroom management strategies, content knowledge, and a list of numbers: fellow teachers and mentors whom they can call when they need help. But no one can tell you who you are, no when can tell you what you already have. You have to believe in something greater than yourself, you have to believe that you have something to impart, because teaching is all give and very little get. I am glad that I ran into Ms. Wagner that afternoon. Even though it has been many years since, I finally learned the meaning of that lesson.
I only hope that more teachers, more schools, more districts learn this, before it’s too late.
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