Respect is Not Something You Earn . . .

I used to think that respect was a two-way street. As long as I respected other people, I should expect to be respected in turn.

Once again, there's that nasty word, "should."

It should work out that way, I respect you, you respect me, we all respect each other.

Unfortunately, this sad formula is one more of the aberrant excesses of democracy. In a populist political system, the people choose their leaders and effect their policies. Leaders, rather than taking charge and doing what is best for the nation in the short and long term, follow the most popular and expedient path to reelection.

True leadership must be asserted from above, top down. Monarchies understood this concept, asserting it in the abstract as "Divine Right." God gives one man power to become king, just as God used the prophet Samuel to anoint Saul then David king over Israel.

In truth, God wants every man to have king-like mastery over himself, under the worthy power of the Holy Spirit. In the mean time, secular society must be content with men in charge, fallible and flawed, liable to corruption. Hence, the democratic system permitted an infrequent check on human power.

At any rate, respect is "top-down." We can only receive absolute regard from God Himself, to the degree that we submit by faith to His grace and receive the Holy Spirit. Many people, however, are still convinced that they must earn or draw out that respect, that recognition of worth, from other people.

This is a grave mistake. Respect is not something that you earn, nor is it something that we can demand from others. In the end, either approach foolishly distracts us from its true source in vain attempts to pry it out of someone who cannot give it to us.

Respect is something that every person must demonstrate, something that we command. Not demand or force or bully out of others, but demonstrate, like the captain of a ship or a military officer. Just as those officers receive their authority from higher ranking officers, they do not ask lower-ranking officers for permission to fulfill their position. Instead, they fulfill the role assigned to them, which includes safeguarding the needs of the men beneath them in rank.

To command respect does not permit individuals to be disrespectful to others, nor does it solidify a dysfunctional sense of hyper-equality. Teachers command respect in their classrooms, having received their assignment from the principal or other administrator. They lead the lessons and guide students; they are not required to solicit the approval of their students. Students in turn command respect as such, arriving in class to do the work assigned to them. They are permitted to seek help as needed; the teacher may not force upon them the responsibilities of running the classroom, nor do students get to question and complain simply because they do not like the teacher or his specific methods. As long as he is doing his job, the teacher commands respect, and so in turn for the student.

Since respect must come from above, it must accorded to us, we must first recognize ourselves as worthy of respect, not lording it over other people or apologizing for it. We do not ask other people for their permission to seek to have our needs meet, nor do we deny others the necessity to seek what they need, it turn. When each person receives by grace through Jesus Christ that he is worthy of respect from God the Father, he never feels the need to press on others or to avoid the tasks set before him.

Respect is not something you earn or demand, it is something you command, having received it from on high.